17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (2024)

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Shana Lebowitz and Jennifer Ortakales Dawkins

Updated

2023-01-10T22:50:10Z

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (1)

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  • According to people on Quora and Reddit threads, how you spend your 20s affects your later years.
  • Their advice on making the most of your youth includes "learn to say no with confidence."
  • If you follow their tips, you could have a better chance of living without regret once you hit your 40s.

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Your twenties can go by quickly but those years can be some of the most important and transformative of your life, according to clinical psychologist Meg Jay, who gave a Ted Talk about the significance of the decade in 2013.

"The brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood," she said in her Ted Talk. "Which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it."

Additionally, she explained that your twenties are a prime time to develop your personality, education, relationships, and career.

If you ask people who are older and wiser for their advice on how to make the most of your twenties, you could get hundreds of pieces of advice on living life to thefullest before you reach middle age. Insider checked out Quora and Reddit threads and highlighted some of our favorite insights about maximizing your youth.

Here are the best tips on how to spend your 20s so you don't live in regret later.

Learn to accept and love yourself first

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (2)

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So says Quora user Ruchi Rashinkar.

In other words, show some self-compassion. Scientists say it can make you more successful because you're learning from your missteps, instead of berating yourself for them.

One self-compassion exercise involves treating yourself as you would treat a friend or a colleague who has failed. You might say to yourself:"This is really hard right now," or, "I'm sorry you are struggling."

Learn to say no with confidence

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (3)

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That's another tip from Rashinkar.

It's best to learn this skill now, whileit's still relatively early in your career. That way, you can prioritize the people and experiences that are truly meaningful to you.

If you're looking for tips on turning down an invitation — without seeming antisocial — etiquette and civility expert Rosalinda Oropeza Randall recommends keeping it simple: "It sounds great, but I think I'll pass this time."

You can even push back on your boss when they give you an assignment you feel like you can't take on. For example, if you're already overloaded with other projects,national workplace expert Lynn Taylor suggests responding:

"I would be happy to do that project, but what that could mean is that [whatever other project you're working on] will have to be put off until tomorrow, because I was actually going to spend the next three hours finishing that proposal. Would you like me to put that off?"

Take more risks

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (4)

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Redditor Bhruic says:

"Don't talk yourself out of doing things you want to do. Don't let fear win. If you want to vacation in Europe, do it. If you want to talk to that hot girl/guy at the bar, do it. If you want to start your own business, do it (and do the research first). Getting to your 30s and having a string of regrets is going to haunt you."

Bhruic is right about taking chances and doing what you want to do before it's too late. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, for example, is notorious for this quality. Bezos has said: "Given a 10% chance of a 100 times payoff, you should take that bet every time."

Conquer your fears

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (5)

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This one goes back to the fear of failure. Quora user Jordan Allen says:

"Some people get the chance to see if their band could make it big or their business could skyrocket or the love of their life was moving to the other side of the world and wanted them to join. It's scary to think about the life we know versus the one we don't, and so often people drop these chances for no better reason than that they're scared."

If you think of your life as an engineering problem, you always want to be prototyping — building a model and testing it. As Bernard Roth, Stanford professor and author of "The Achievement Habit," says, youdon't want to be tinkering forever, until you've got the seemingly perfect model.

So try out life in another country, or launch your business on a small scale and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out, you can always try again.

Turn your weaknesses into strengths

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (6)

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That's a tip from Quora user Piyush Jbd, who writes about thinking of your weaknesses as a "competitive advantage."

It's something both Michael Phelps and Winston Churchill learned to do, as Eric Barker writes in "Barking Up the Wrong Tree."

For Phelps, having a somewhat awkward body type made him a pretty bad runner and dancer — but it also made him an incredible swimmer. For Churchill, being paranoid meant that he was once "deemed unsuitable for the highest offices" — but it also meant he recognized Hitler as a threat to the world.

Figure out what makes you weird, and turn it into the thing that makes you a winner.

Learn to negotiate with politeness

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (7)

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Quora user Nupur Jain includes this tip in her response.

Learning to negotiate early in your career is a pretty big deal. As Business Insider's Tanza Loudenback and Skye Gould reported, "Negotiating your starting salary — and continuing to negotiate every few years or when you start a new job — could make a $1 million difference in your lifetime earnings."

If you're worried about botching your first salary negotiation, make sure to do your research so you get a sense of the standard salary for your position. And remember that salary isn't the only thing you can negotiate — you can also ask about things like performance bonuses,equity options, health insurance premiums, 401(k) matches, and help relocating for the job.

Forgive yourself

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (8)

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Redditor techniforus writes:

"Forgive yourself. Kicking yourself over past failures won't change what happened, it will just leave you sore from being kicked so much. Give up all hope for a better past. Own who you have been so it doesn't own you.

"This really applies to all ages, but it's a skill that takes a while to develop so you might as well start young and really figure it out. I haven't met many people under twenty who have taken it to heart but I have found a number of people in their twenties who are really starting to get it. I've also met people in their 80s and 90s who still don't get it and are filled with regrets."

Journalist Kathryn Schulz says something similar: She suggests that we can expect to have some regrets, and shouldn't feel bad about having them.

"The point isn't to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them," she says in her TED Talk. "We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly — it reminds us that we know we can do better."

Don't compare yourself to others

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (9)

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"Don't compare yourself to others," writes Redditor hstrygeek1. "In the social media age, it is tempting to beat yourself up if your friends are getting married, having kids, and living a life of luxury. We each live our own lives. The only thing you're going to do is hurt yourself.

Indeed, research suggests that comparing yourself to others is pretty pointless. That's because, from the outside, people can seem a lot happier and less troubled than they really are.

Don't be afraid to change directions.

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (10)

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Redditor turkoosi_aurinko has some advice for anyone who's already feeling stuck:

"Yeah, you went to high school, then maybe did some college, tech school, training or whatever and thought that was your direction. But if you finally get a job, and you're not happy, work to change that s--- immediately. Spending your entire workweek being unhappy just because it pays the bills will not make you happy.

"The longer you wait to change, the harder it will feel to change. So get used to change, because you'll probably need to do it a number of times throughout your life and career."

Career coach and former Googler Jenny Blake,author of the book "Pivot," says making a career change doesn't have to be terrifying.You just need to goabout the transition carefully — first drawing on your current experience, then networking, and then testing, until you're ready to launch.

Don't rack up debt

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (11)

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Redditor zoidbert writes about an all-too-common mistake:

"I regret not saving more money and, more importantly, I regretracking up debt. That nearly killed me in my 30s. Some of it was necessary, of course, but a lot was credit card overkill.

"I also regret not traveling more. Once we married and started having kids, travel got curtailed. We still went on trips but they were family trips. I wish I would have taken her on a couple of big out-of-country excursions before family came into play."

If you find yourself in a similar situation, consider taking a tip from one former Insider reporter and going on a cash-only diet, during which you stop using credit and debit cards completely.

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17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s (2024)

FAQs

17 things to start doing in your 20s so you don't live in regret in your 40s? ›

Neglecting savings is a common regret of the 20s. People often prioritize spending over saving, neglecting the importance of building a nest egg. It's important to start saving early, even if it means sacrificing some immediate spending. Not creating a budget is another regret that people often experience in their 20s.

What to do in 20s to avoid regrets in 30s and 40s? ›

15 Things You Can Do In Your 20s To Avoid Regrets In Your 30s And...
  • Understand that you're not running out of time. ...
  • Don't do things just because they seem cool. ...
  • Have hobbies and build skills. ...
  • Build connections. ...
  • Have a mix of people around you from all age groups.
Mar 22, 2022

What do people most regret not doing in their 20s? ›

Neglecting savings is a common regret of the 20s. People often prioritize spending over saving, neglecting the importance of building a nest egg. It's important to start saving early, even if it means sacrificing some immediate spending. Not creating a budget is another regret that people often experience in their 20s.

What are the biggest mistakes in 20s? ›

Your 20s are the time when you can experiment in life and analyse which direction you should head towards. Avoid staying in your bubble or comfort zone because it will stop you from growing into your capabilities. By staying inside of your comfort zone you will stop yourself from getting opportunities.

What should one do in their 20s to avoid regrets in their 30s? ›

30 Little Things To Do In Your 20s To Avoid Regrets In Your 30s
  1. Make sure that if you have a relationship with someone you actually nail down the long-term goals and agree on them… ...
  2. Have a plan. ...
  3. Take chances. ...
  4. Learn about self-care: nutrition, exercise, mental health. ...
  5. Take risks in your career. ...
  6. Date, date, DATE! ...
  7. Exercise.

Why are late 20s so hard? ›

Many people in their 20s are going through significant life changes and transitions, such as finishing school, starting a new job, moving to a new city, and navigating new relationships. These changes can be stressful and overwhelming, and they can trigger feelings of sadness, anxiety, and depression.

Is 27 too old to start again? ›

It's never too late to make a new start. One of the most difficult things in life is making that decision to start all over again.

Why are early 20s so lonely? ›

It can be tough to find your place in the world and build a social circle when you're no longer in the structured environment of school or college. You may also struggle to form meaningful connections with others, leaving you feeling isolated and alone.

Is feeling lost in your 20s normal? ›

At any age, especially with the hit of the COVID-19 pandemic, you can reach a point of feeling lost. Your twenties are a time of transitioning out of a life where you had less control over your own time to a life where you can do whatever you want with your time while also taking on a load of new responsibilities.

What mistakes should you avoid in your 20s? ›

6 career mistakes to avoid in your 20s
  • 01/7Keep these tips in mind. ...
  • 02/7Not networking enough. ...
  • 03/7Being too picky about job opportunities. ...
  • 04/7Not being open to learning. ...
  • 05/7Not saving enough. ...
  • 06/7Don't be too focused on short-term goals. ...
  • 07/7Being too passive.
Jan 28, 2023

How do I not ruin my 20s? ›

Here are the best tips on how to spend your 20s so you don't live in regret later.
  1. Learn to accept and love yourself first. ...
  2. Learn to say no with confidence. ...
  3. Take more risks. ...
  4. Conquer your fears. ...
  5. Turn your weaknesses into strengths. ...
  6. Learn to negotiate with politeness. ...
  7. Forgive yourself. ...
  8. Don't compare yourself to others.
Jan 10, 2023

What should everyone know in their 20s? ›

20 Priceless Lessons Everyone Should Learn in Their 20s
  • Marry your ideas with execution. ...
  • Being able to focus is a skill. ...
  • Perseverance is the most important skill you can learn. ...
  • Working hard doesn't guarantee success, but it makes it more likely. ...
  • Work is very personal. ...
  • You don't know everything; learn from others.
Mar 14, 2016

Are your 30s easier than your 20s? ›

Your 20s are hard, but being in your 30s presents a whole new set of challenges. People in their 30s are expected to achieve more and find themselves going down life paths different from their friends'. But your 30s bring a greater level of self-awareness, too. Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.

What is the best age in your 20s? ›

Whew — 28 is the best year of your twenties. Not because of the spectacular partying (see: 22) or because you'll magically have everything figured out (see: never), but because 28 is the year when you're finally able to accept that no one actually "feels" like a grown-up and it's OK that you don't either.

Is 30 really the new 20? ›

Clinical psychologist Meg Jay has a bold message for twentysomethings: Contrary to popular belief, your 20s are not a throwaway decade. In this provocative talk, Jay says that just because marriage, work and kids are happening later in life, doesn't mean you can't start planning now.

How do you stay alive in your 20s? ›

How to Survive (and Thrive) in Your 20s
  1. Establish a budget and stick to it. ...
  2. Learn to say no. ...
  3. Stay away from credit cards. ...
  4. Invest in yourself. ...
  5. Find a hobby or passion and stick with it. ...
  6. Make time for friends and family. ...
  7. Don't be afraid to take risks. ...
  8. Set goals and pursue them relentlessly.

How not to waste your 30s? ›

10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s
  • Start Saving for Retirement Now, Not Later. ...
  • Start Taking Care of Your Health Now, Not Later. ...
  • Don't Spend Time with People Who Don't Treat You Well. ...
  • Be Good to the People You Care About. ...
  • You Can't Have Everything; Focus On Doing a Few Things Really Well.

Is 35 too late to turn your life around? ›

One time is one too many. Plans are meant to change, and so is life. And it's never too late to change your life. Here are the steps to getting rid of the mindset roadblocks and how to achieve the life you've always wanted.

How can I change my life at 30 40? ›

Recommended
  1. Stop smoking. ...
  2. Start going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day. ...
  3. Start exercising regularly. ...
  4. Start keeping a journal. ...
  5. Start saving money. ...
  6. Start pursuing a life dream. ...
  7. Start learning to be happy with what you have. ...
  8. Stop thinking you need to satisfy everyone.
Mar 4, 2018

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